Wings (Poem)

you’ll be more

they say

you’ll be free

they say

you’ll spread your wings

they say


except i lost them a while ago

the glowing wings that once sat on my back so naturally


slowly lost their light and became dim

now just a faint memory

of stories and hopes and a child’s imagination


sometimes they appear in dreams

or for a hopeful second in the day

and make me believe

before they dissolve once more


go out and fly

they say

and i’m left here in the gloom

wondering how




Note: I wrote this poem pretty much exactly one year ago, when I had just graduated, was still not sure whether the degree I applied for was actually right for me and generally felt very, very confused and afraid of the change that was to come. I know this poem is not exactly optimistic, but the reason I decided to post it today is that now, 12 months later I can look back at it and say that I don’t feel nearly as hopeless as I did then. Of course, there are still moments when I get scared of the future and wish I could stop time for a bit so that my brain can catch up and I can figure out what it is that I actually want, but I know I’m on the right track now. I’m fortunate enough to study something I truly love and care about, I am surrounded by wonderful people and sometimes I get so happy  that my metaphorical wings do not only glow brighter than ever, but seemingly take me high above the clouds. (Gosh, this was way too cheesy and pretentious, time to go now!)

(Image: Zsa Zsa Bellagio)


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