My Favourite Jokes!

As everyone who’s friends with me knows all too well, I’m a complete pun-enthusiast and always try my best to come up with a new one in any given situation. Thus, here are some of my best creations: 

What’s brown, tastes good on bread and designs fashion? Donutella Versace

What do you call a very handsome manager? Exe-cute-ive!

What does an ambitious Scandinavian say to his rival at a competition? ‘There’s Norway I’m letting you beat me!’

Why did Piglet look into the toilet? Because he was searching for Pooh

What do you call a vet who specialises in canines? A dogtor

What do you call it when a gay person takes over the planet? Conqueering the world

Why do vegans not like romantic movies? Because they’re too cheesy

What did the briefcase say when the purse asked it how it was doing? ‘I’m feeling sbagtecular!’

This guy from the Rolling Stones keeps making fun of everyone, it seems like he really enjoys taking the mickey.

What is Shrek responsible for when throwing a party with his friends? The ogrenisation

What did Stevie Nicks say when she logged into Mick Fleetwood’s computer without his permission? ‘Fleetwood Hack!’

What do you call it when a specific Asian country becomes a sovereign state? Indiapendence

I don’t get why some people take their cuppa without any milk or sugar, that must taste so teadious.

What do you call an angel that makes you feel better? A cheerub

Which is the most idiotic stylistic device? Oxy-moron

What do you call a furry animal that takes selfies with an app and sends them to people? A Snapcat

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Poetry & A Wonderful Weekend

I’ve tried writing poems for a while now and have never been happy with the results, not to mention the fact that I only ever managed to write a few since I constantly lack inspiration. However, after having an amazing time with my lovely long-distance-internet-friend who came to visit me this weekend, I decided to let her read one of them, mainly because I felt like it sort of summed up the days we’d spent together. Surprisingly, she actually liked it, so I thought I’d be brave and just put it out there, shall I? 

 

Freedom

Today I walked

Away from my house

From the summer heat

From the city’s noisy beat

From the buzzing shopping centres

From the parks and playgrounds

To be free from my world


I kept walking

Away from my unaccomplished dreams

From my still not combated fears

From my temporarily dried tears

From the sometimes suffocating numbness

From the words I never dared to speak

To be free from myself

 

I wandered for hours

And so did my mind

Even so for once

My thoughts didn’t weigh me down

But lift me up

 

I found myself

In fluffy white clouds above my head

In the shade of blue the sky was painted

In the prickly yet soft green grass around me

In the light reflecting on a butterfly’s wings

In the flowers redolent of bliss

To be free

 

 

Putting up notes around the city! 

Hiya, it’s been a while!

I’ve just had the most amazing weekend with my friend who came to visit after 2 years of not seeing each other and it was absolutely marvellous. 

Since it was really hot today, we spontaneously decided to hide from the sun under a tree in my favourite park and, having lots of time to kill, started writing notes with puns and little positive messages as a way to try and share our happiness with other people. Both making them and putting them up was so much fun and I can only recommend you to do the same in your city, and maybe you’ll even make someone’s day!